In the Midst of Darkness
by Kaelynn Mckay
Summary: Edmund's thoughts during his imprisonment in the White Witch's castle.


**Thanks to the incredible writer who beta-ed my story: Tonzura123!**

**Disclaimer: No, I am NOT C.S. Lewis. And after you read this, I think you'll immediately agree. **

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**IN THE MIDST OF DARKNESS**

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A figure huddled in the corner of the cell, his arms wrapped around himself, trying in vain to keep warm. His usually clear ivory skin was marked with darkening bruises, painful to look at, and yet even more painful to bear. The icy air made his condition all the worse, but the real agony was inside. His dark eyes barely concealed the misery he felt, and his thoughts made the impenetrable darkness seem even emptier.

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********'I trusted in you.'**

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__She was tall, elegant and beautiful, with skin white as snow and hair nearly the same color. Her carmine lips were parted slightly, in an emotion one could only call shock.____ As he looked up from his place on the snow covered ground and glimpsed into her intensely blue eyes, it stunned him. He was immediately taken in._

"_What is your name Son-of-Adam?"_

"_Edmund, your majesty."_

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********'I constantly fought with Peter, Susan, and Lucy.'**

"_But I wasn't imagining!" Lucy protested, her eyes pleading with her siblings to believe her._

"_That's enough." Susan looked down at Lucy sternly._

"_I wouldn't lie about this!" Lucy looked desperate now._

"_Well, I believe you." Edmund said suddenly._

_Lucy looked at him, relieved. 'You do?_

"_Of course. Didn't I tell you about the football field in the bathroom cupboard?" He said trying to appear innocent, and almost enjoying letting Lucy down._

"_Oh will you just stop it? You always have to make everything worse, don't you?" Peter said exasperated._

_Edmund shrunk back. "It was just a joke."_

_Peter replied, harshly"When are you going to learn to grow up?"_

_Edmund's anger boiled over and he ran up to Peter. "Shut up! You think your dad, but your not!"_

_He ran from the room, his outburst leaving Peter speechless._

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********'But you were my escape from them.'**

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__He sat beside her quickly devouring the sweet candy she had given him._

"_I would love to see your family." She murmured._

"_They're nothing special."_

Edmund sighed heavily. 'Maybe if I had run to them, instead of _from_ them, this wouldn't have happened.'

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********'I thought you were trying to make me a king.'**

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__She looked at him, carefully considering what to say._

"_I could see one day, you becoming prince of Narnia - maybe even king."_

"_Really?"_

"_Of course you'd have to bring your family."_

_His face fell._

"_Oh. Will Peter be king too?"_

"_No. But a king needs servants."_

_He smiled._

Edmund flinched at the memories, thinking how foolish he had been. Betraying his family, not to mention an entire country, without even a thought otherwise.

******'Instead, you were plotting to kill me.'**

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__Her face looked emotionless. _

"_Tell me... your sisters, are they deaf?"_

_This puzzled him._

"_No..." _

_She stiffened. _

"_And your brother...is he unintelligent?"_

_Edmund smirked. _

"_Well, I think so, but Mum says..."_

"_THEN HOW __DARE__ YOU COME ALONE!"_

_The clear blue eyes that had first drawn him in now terrified him. She looked at him with such hateful intensity, that he felt as if he would burn under her gaze. __It was then that he__ realized, with horror__,__ that everything she had told him was a lie. She was going to kill him._

Edmund looked at the icy prison he was sitting in. 'Now that I'm sitting in this dirty, freezing cell, I have to admit that I deserve it.' He shivered and wished he still had his winter coat. 'I have to get out of here,' he thought.

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********'I knew Aslan was the real king from the moment I heard his name. Yet I fought against it. My own desire to rule over my siblings was more powerful."**

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__Mr. Beaver leaned forward, as if he was about to tell them a marvelous secret._

"_Aslan is on the move." _

_Edmund felt a terrible feeling run through him, that he just might have been wrong about the Queen. __He quickly dismissed the thought though, remembering her promise to make him king. Still, he had to make sure this Aslan wouldn't ruin his plans. So he asked;_

"_Who's Aslan?" _

_Mr. Beaver laughed, long and hard as if that was the dumbest question on God's earth._

_'Who's Aslan? Why you cheeky little blighter!"_

_At this point, Mrs. Beaver gently nudged him and looked pointedly toward the confused children._

_He stopped laughing. "You really don't know, do you?"_

_Peter smiled nervously, still trying to get used to the company of a talking beaver._

"_Well, we haven't exactly been here very long."_

_Mr. Beaver looked at them incredulously. _

"_He's only the king of the whole wood, the top geezer... the real king of Narnia!"_

_Edmund clenched his teeth and quietly picked up his coat._

"_He's been away for a long while," Mrs. Beaver put in excitedly._

_He inched towards the door._

"_But he just got back! And he's waiting for you near the stone table!"_

_Edmund reached the door and slowly opened it, sneaking out into the snow and starting towards the White Witch's castle._

Edmund smiled slightly, remembering the beavers and how nice they were. Letting the four children come to their lodge, making them dinner...

He hadn't eaten anything but a few crumbs of nearly inedible bread since he had been at the beaver's house, and his stomach ached at the thought of food. But the empty ache was soon forgotten as he thought again of his siblings. 'I regret everything now,' he thought. 'Oh why was I so stupid!' A small tear slid down his pale cheek. 'Aslan help me! All I was trying to do was make myself king...'

He looked down at the frost covered ground, tears now freely falling. If he hadn't been so selfish, so _uncaring_, who knows what he would be doing right now. Traveling to the Stone Table with his siblings, safe from the witch, on their way to meet Aslan...

Aslan's name sounded so wonderful now. 'What had he wanted with me anyway?' thought Edmund. 'Why was he waiting for me? I'm nothing but a worthless...'

Suddenly, a warm breeze blew through the cold cell, somehow warming him, body and soul.

"_Those who are truly repentant are never worthless in my sight, dear one."_

Edmund lifted his tear stained face to see a magnificent, golden lion lying right in front of him.

And there were no doubts in his mind as to who it was.

"Aslan," he whispered, "Why do you want me?"

"_Because I love you, Son of Adam, as I love your siblings and all of whom I have created."_

"But I've betrayed them! I betrayed you...'"Edmund covered his face with his hands, utterly ashamed of the knowledge that the same noble, caring lion that was laying in front of him was the king he had betrayed.

"_All have sinned, Edmund." _The lion looked at him with such a great sadness in his eyes that it almost made Edmund want to cry again.

Then his expression changed to one of endless compassion and love. "_But all who believe in me and repent of their sins will be forgiven and washed clean...Do you believe, dear one?"_

Edmund nodded quickly, then asked, voice breaking, "But is it enough?"

Aslan growled softly and Edmund looked down, feeling that he had been rather foolish.

"_My love will _always_ be enough. Never forget that, Edmund."_

Edmund opened his eyes and glanced around, everything coming slowly into focus. Aslan was gone. The room was once again frigidly cold, but Edmund didn't notice. He felt such a freedom, as if a tremendous weight had just been taken off him; like he was inwardly imprisoned, but now the chains holding his heart hostage had been melted away, melted away and gone forever. A warm, golden feeling had replaced the anger in his heart, and as he lay there, though body bruised and battered, he somehow knew for sure that Aslan loved him, and that he had forgiven him.

And that was all he needed to know.

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"_**But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." 1 John 1:9**_

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**_**A/N: Finally! My first fanfiction done! I know it ain't that great, but I hopefully will get better at it with practice. Maybe then you all won't cringe when you read it. :P**

**Anyway, please, PLEASE review! Constructive criticism is welcomed and taken to heart.**

**Thanks for reading!**


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